How to give oral that makes you the favourite client
I remember the first time I went down on a girl. I was 23, and my first girlfriend was writhing beneath me. As a female, I believed I’d know exactly what to do. I had the same anatomy, so surely I’d be able to mirror my masturbation efforts and please my sweet, desirous girlfriend? Right? Right?
Wrong.
Eating pussy is an art, and an entirely subjective art at that. Every girl is different and has a complex web of nerve mappings, and it takes time to locate their pleasure centres. Like you, I was baffled by the search for the holy grail. But with time, research, and practice, I’ve learned a thing or two about eating pussy.
These following tips won’t apply to every woman you meet. Use them as a rule of thumb, and always check in with your lucky lady.
DO
Take your time.
Savour the experience like you would kneeling at the alter of Venus incarnate. Your goddess awaits and worship isn’t compatible with hurrying. You’ll likely be down there for over 5 minutes, so get comfortable. Rushed oral sex = the worst oral sex.
Honour the entire vulva, not just the clit.
Did you know that the clit is actually a larger, internal structure that the eye can’t see? That’s right, there’s more to the clit than that tiny, pea-like structure you see. Which, by the way, is called the Clitoral Glans (see below for exact anatomy!).
Image via Clue.com
Like a giant iceberg, most of the clit’s mass sits internally, and actually extends down either side of the labia majora (that’s the outer lips). The structure looks like a giant wishbone, which is quite fitting. Women are magical, lucky creatures and you have been blessed. Come hither and receive your fortune.
As you can see above, you shouldn’t focus all your efforts on the external clitoris – there’s so much more waiting to receive your touch! The clit’s nerve endings extend down to her outer lips, which you can kiss, lick and caress before you get down to business.
Take a breather if you need to
Eating pussy can be tiring, and you’re not exactly in the best position for breathing deeply, especially if your nose is blocked. If your tongue gets sore or you’re running out of breathe, that’s perfectly fine. Take a break to kiss her inner thighs or tell her how good she tastes.
Establish a rhythm
The key to a clitoral orgasm is to keep up the momentum and not change tactics. If she’s responding well to you consistently flicking your tongue side to side, or around clockwise, or anti-clockwise, keep doing that. Whatever you do, do not spell out the alphabet.
DON’T
Blow on her vulva.
What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Please stop.
Tell her she takes forever to cum
It’s a common defence mechanism to put the onus on women for not orgasming at the drop of a hat. “Wow! It takes forever for you to cum!” is any woman’s least favourite statement during sex, largely because this accusation is riddled with blame and forces a sense of inadequacy on to the receiver.
Imagine if your companion were to say to you, mid blowjob, “Wow! Your penis is really soft!” or “Wow! It takes FOREVER for you to get hard!”
Not everyone has the same levels of sexual responsivity (that’s getting turned on) or orgasmic capacity (that’s the ability to cum). Being tired, hung over, sick, or recovering from an illness can all impact our ability to orgasm. Be patient, be understanding, and ask what you can do to help.
PS: if you’re here reading this article on how to give better oral sex, I’m going to place a safe bet: It’s not HER, it’s YOU.
Suck on her clit without asking
Up there with blowing on the vulva in terms of weirdness, sucking on a woman’s clit is actually extremely painful for some. Unless your companion has indicated that she likes this (in my opinion) incredibly weird sensation, for the love of god, stop sucking. The clit has thousands of nerve endings in it. Be a gentlemen and be…well, gentle.
Keep going if she asks you to stop
If you’re doing something that causes pain or feel uncomfortable, just stop. Ask her what else she might like. You’re eating pussy for her, not for you, right?
Race to the finish line
Some guys like to dive down there and rev their tongues like propellers ready for take off. This is incredibly unpleasant and generally hurts. Our little clits need love and care, and less is usually more when it comes to pressure. Take your time to build up the pressure.
Want more tips?
I highly recommend reading Dr Ian Kerner’s best selling book She Comes First. It’s inspired thousands to improve their oral sex skills. I personally have the audio book for a more discreet learning experience.